Cambodian DMV

If Cambodia had a DMV, this is how I imagine the booklet they give out would read...

When driving down the road it is important to watch and slow for the following:

• Large buses full of tourists. The buses will crush you
• Other motos
• Herds of cows crossing the road
• Dogs

*note: It is not necessarily important to slow for pedestrians. Use your best judgement

Parking:

• Just find a spot. Block someone else if necessary 
• Motos can and should be put so closely together that no person can actually get on their moto to back it out

Safety Laws:

• Drive on the right side of the road, unless it is more convenient to drive into oncoming traffic, then use your horn to let oncoming traffic know you are there.
• Always wear a helmet while driving a moto. Passengers (including children) do not need a helmet while riding. If however you simply keep a helmet in the basket on your moto, that is safe enough.
• Use headlights at night to alert other motorists of your presence, unless you are afraid of ghosts following you home, then you may leave your lights off.
• Never use your headlights during the day. No exceptions.
• Red lights are always optional
• Two people on a moto at a time. But feel free to be clever and fit as many Cambodians/pigs/chickens/mattresses/propane tanks/groceries as possible

Oh Cambodia...

These pictures were just to help illustrate the point, but are not actually my pictures.

They're Too Young

A dirt floor and rusted tables with plastic chairs for customers (most of which have giant cracks in the seats). Thick sticks are tied together and neighboring trees support the tarps that are tied together to form a covering. The 1 1/2 sides it has are plastic table cloths with holes in them, which does allow for a breeze I suppose, and of course a view of the emaciated cows in the grass next to it. Scraps of food that have fallen off the table are picked through by the scraggly dogs that wander around, and one can only hope and pray that their patchy "so greasy it has a gelled quality about it" fur doesn't come in contact with your actual skin. This, my friends, is where I spend many-an-afternoon. And let me answer this question now: yes they do take reservations, since I know you're all dying to go ;)

Bella and I do outreach in the community most everyday. It comes in different forms depending on what is happening, but mostly it is maintaining and building relationships. We have good relationships with three massage parlors and one karaoke club. We alternate locations throughout the week so we can spend time with each group of girls as well as in our own salon. Today was a karaoke day.

As we were sitting on cracked seats (and yes I am sad to say that today I had actual contact with a dog) and eating bananas with some girls, I realized I was in such an odd situation. Two girls we hang out with a lot were sitting sharing a drink and talking with us. They are 15 and 17, respectively. Several karaoke girls joked and laughed as they ate and played cards. Everything was  as per usual until I noticed what the two teen girls were drinking. They were drinking wine coolers. My first reaction was to stop them, then I remembered I'm not in America and it is legal for them to drink here. Then I thought "But they are too young! Who cares about legality of it! They're going through them like a thirsty adult with a box juice!" But even as I thought it, I couldn't figure out how that conversation would go, "Girls, I know your job requires you to get drunk every night with customers, but I don't think it's wise to be drinking that." Oh yeah. That would go over swimmingly. I couldn't figure out in what way Jesus' name would be glorified if the subject was brought up, so I left it alone. 

 As I was sitting in our salon shortly there after, I was watching a teenage girl waiting to get her hair and make-up done for work tonight. She was playing with a practice doll head. She kept braiding and unbraiding the hair. Braiding and re-braiding, over and over again. I've seen her there before, doing the same thing. Not talking, just playing with the hair. I asked her once if she wanted to work in a salon. She said yes, but could never afford to go to school for it. 

Today was one of those days where I have been so blessed by the conversations and time spent sitting and just being present with them. It is also one of those nights where my heart just breaks at the loss of innocence. I know there is no such thing as an appropriate age for this, but I wish she was at home playing with hair and they were at home drinking juice right now. Instead they're out working.

Back in the Bode Again

"Take it easy. Take it EASY!" Came from an overly anxious Bella sitting on the back if my moto as we drove through the streets of Siem Reap doing outreach. This was quickly followed by a quiet chorus of "Oh please don't kill me. Oh you're going to kill us..." As you can imagine, her confidence in my driving abilities is overwhelming.
Okay, yes I almost tipped us over once, but in my defense, we had a dog chasing us down the road jumping up and trying to bite us. And what help do I receive as I am trying to steer us to safety? Bella flailing around on the back of my moto yelling "It's going to bite us!!!!!" As she kicks her legs up repeatedly kicking my arm controlling the steering. But yeah, sure, I'm the one going to kill us...
Coming back from being home in the states for Christmas has had its moments. You know, it's 'This is awesome and I'm so happy to be back!' moments and of course the 'Oh my goodness I'd forgotten how scary driving in Cambodia is' moments. Well, followed by the "We might die right now" came an incredible afternoon.
For those that don't know, or have forgotten what I do, here's the short of the long of it. I work in Siem Reap building relationships with girls in the community that are currently working in brothels (aka karaoke clubs and massage parlors.) My job is to help girls in the community come to know about and trust our facility (Rahabs House) so that if a girl wants help getting out of sex trafficking she knows she can come to us and we will help in whatever way most beneficial to her particular situation. So most everyday, one of our awesome Khmer staff, Bella, and myself go out to foster these relationships.
After our harrowing drive to one of the massage parlors we frequent, we were met with an ecstatic group of massage girls. Armed with fruit we walked over to join the thirty plus girls sitting around tables. Several asked where I had been for so long and others kept saying how happy they were to see me again. Since building trust can be very challenging in the Khmer culture, I cannot even express to you the extreme joy I felt at being surrounded by so many loving girls.
We sat around and talked, ate fruit and yes I'll admit it, danced and sang (quiet loudly I might add) to One Direction. ( The best part of course being that the girls recorded me singing and dancing...always a joy to have those embarrassing moments documented.)
Fast forward a few hours. We've long since left the massage parlor and are passing out fliers that night to the karaoke club near us to let girls know about a party coming up.
We strategically go into the club just after the bulk of the girls arrive, and just before the bulk of the johns come. Usually we are admitted to pass out fliers and told to hurry up. This time, we weren't told to hurry. In fact the "ice moms" that usually sell the girls and are the ones who admit or don't admit us in, engaged us in conversation! When we went inside, a girl ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug and had apparently been asking everyday when I would be back. As we stood there hugging, some men came in for girls. My heart sunk. We were in SO much trouble. We are NEVER supposed to be in there while there are customers. If we see them, we've already messed up. And here we were, in the middle of the room with girls surrounding us.
But God was so good! Not one girl near us made a move to get the attention of the men (as is their job) and none of the guys seemed to even notice our presence. As a result, the manager and the "ice moms" didn't care we were there while customers were there. When we tried to leave, all the higher up staff stopped us so we could chat and catch up!
I could not believe it! For the staff and girls of both the karaoke club and the massage parlor to be so open and so eager to engage in relationship with us during work hours is truly a testament to how God is slowly turning some of the hearts in this community.
I was so blessed by the whole day I wanted to cry! Fortunately I didn't because if I had I probably would have crashed us and then Bella would never get on my moto again and then where would we be?

Of Mice and Men

I remember liking the book of Mice and Men. Although I did not fully understand Lenny's love of the mice, I respected his decision to care for them and felt his loss when he accidentally killed them. It is clear to me that I have changed since having read that book.

Two days ago we discovered a mouse living in our house. I felt no love or respect for it, and in no way wanted anyone to try and protect it. And I can say with no remorse, I felt no sense of loss at the idea of it's vacating the premises.

After Laura discovered the mouse hiding between the shelf and the wall, I took refuge upstairs in the living room and she went for a run. Upon returning we decided that it was not financially prudent to live in a hotel and eat every meal out in order to avoid having to go near the kitchen where the mouse has taken up residence. This left us with two options. First, to move. Simply forfeit the house to the mouse and admit defeat. Second, go next door and see if our neighbors could kill it for us.

I gave my best motivational speech. Think Braveheart status here. "Laura! We can do this! Let's just go downstairs and take care of this! Come on! We are adults!"

Evidently I fell short of Mel Gibson's performance because I was met with "Really Brittnay? Are we really adults?" It was a good question and it needed to be asked. Evidently the answer is no because neither of us wanted to deal with finding a new house so we literally ran down the stairs and away from the kitchen as fast as we could headed for the neighbors.

Expecting to find three grown men next door who could come over and rescue us from the perilous mouse situation, we instead found three tiny Khmer women and three little girls. We explained the situation (or rather Laura did because let's be honest, I don't speak enough Khmer to explain the urgency we felt) and being the wonderful and generous women that they are, they offered to come and help us.

Armed with a single broom,  our fearless neighbor Chanom headed over with a woman in her early 50s, a nineteen year old, a nine year old, a seven year old and a three year old. Laura and I took position in the rear. After telling them where the mouse was, Laura and I graciously made room for them in the kitchen by excusing ourselves into the other room.

Chanom 4'9'' weighing in at 100lbs in one corner and the two inch mouse weighing in at 2lbs in the the other. The bell dinged and they were off. Chanom swatted at the shelf knocking the mouse loose on its hold in the shelf. The mouse took evasive measures and darted across the kitchen sending the woman in her 50s onto the counter, the 19 year old onto the table, the 7 year old on a chair, the 3 and 9 year old into the other room with me and Laura outside into the street. Chanom ran around the kitchen swing the broom until the mouse hid under the refrigerator. Chanom swatted at it with such gusto it had no choice but to climb up into the cooling mechanism of the fridge. Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the first round went to the mouse. At the start of the second round, Chanom came back to the fridge, armed with bug spray. She sprayed into the cooling mechanism. This intrigued all the bystanders causing everyone to inch closer to the action. The women climbed off our kitchen surfaces, Laura came back in the house and we walked near the kitchen entrance.

Seeing it had drawn us all out of hiding, the mouse took off headed right toward me. Laura, the three girls, the nineteen year old and I all headed for the stairs. It changed course and instead of leaving the kitchen it lapped it. When it came back round a second time we all jumped up higher on the stairs. Screams permeated the air as the sound of running and slamming the broom coming from the kitchen echoed through the house. The atmosphere was tense. Against my better judgment, I stepped off the stairs to get a better look. Chanom was swinging the broom as the mouse ran in circles and then almost as if sensing a change in the audience, it ran out of the kitchen and straight toward me. All the girls ran higher up onto the stairs, Laura was safe on the second floor, but I was exposed. I did the only thing I could do and jumped up on the outside of the banister. Screams filled the air as I clung to the banister hovering a mere one and half feet above the danger. Chanom-the champion that she is- went full speed in pursuit. Knees bent, broom over her head, Chanom did a waddle run while yelling a fierce battle cry and swing the broom. The mouse, seeing it had been bested ran out the door and down the street. We cheered and hugged Chanom, thanking her for her bravery. She had truly saved us, else we would have had to move.

After everyone had gone home, while we were cleaning up after the epic battle of the mouse, I had a revelation. In Tom and Jerry,when Tom is chasing Jerry, you feel for the poor little mouse. It's a lie. It's Tom who's the victim. I'm sure of it.

Pictures

Just chillin on the roof of a restaurant. No, it was not open to guests, they

just let us go up to take pictures...

Me and Sauvry on the roof before dinner.

Lygia and me on the roof before dinner.

This is what the sky looks like when I go running in the evening

One of the many temples near me. (Truthfully, I don't remember which one)

Overall Update

It has been a crazy few months! Since the last time I sent out an update, we've started a children's ministry, ended a children's ministry, expanded our outreach, gained several girls in our program, lost a few and had a change in our leadership. So, I'm going to give you the reader's digest version...

We started our Kid's Club as a result of a two teams coming. We saw that there was a need during the mornings for about thirty kids in our area since the Cambodian schools had shut down due to an epidemic. It was such a blessing getting to hang out with the kids and to be apart of a children's program again. After about two months, most of the kids went back to school during the mornings and our staff's availability changed making it impossible to run a program for the kids in the mornings. So for the time being, we've shut down our Kids' Club and are waiting on God to provide staffing. 

We started being more aggressive trying to get into one massage parlor in particular, simply so we could offer them free medical clinics and English classes. We finally were able to get access to the girls and now we have too many girls to help between the three massage parlors and one karaoke club. Right now our facility is so jam packed with 16 girls and a waiting list so long that with the way things stand now, we simply cannot accommodate all the girls by the end of 2013. Because of this fact, we're pulling back on outreach and simply working  to maintain relationships and are waiting to see how God provides both with finances and staff. 

Steve and Lygia moved back to the states at the beginning of the month and our new director of Siem Reap, Laura, just got here last Friday. Really bummed to have them move home, but God has so been blessing this time. A few days before they moved I made a new friend who introduced me to a new church. I cannot tell you what a blessing it has been going there! The people are so nice and I really feel at home with the group of women. I can really see myself calling this my Siem Reap church home. 

This last week I found out that a woman from Lakeside Church that I used to volunteer with was in a car accident and passed away. It has so broken my heart and for several days was just a wreck. God so blessed the timing for a team to come. A team from Bayside Church came up and has been visiting, training our girls in the salon. They have been such a support and a real blessing not only to our girls and our ministry, but to us personally. Laura and I got to spend one night in a spontaneous night of worship and prayer with them. It was such a blessing to spend time in prayer and worship with a group of women and be able to be vulnerable and share the brokenness for this family that I was feeling. God knew exactly what I needed and what our girls have needed and has provided it through this amazing team. 

God has really been working and moving in my heart these last few weeks really teaching me what a Christ-centered community is and how I personally should be acting. I feel like these last few weeks, as crazy as they have been, have held some of the sweetest moments with my brothers and sisters in Christ that I have ever had, and I have seen God's provision in such a personal way that I have never before experienced. It has been awesome!

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

For some time now, we've battled on and off with the girls about doing their chores and their cooking responsibilities. After countless warnings, sit down conversations, and schedules made to make this simple and clear, it was time to put down the hammer. So we called all the girls together last night and discussed what their punishment would be... For the foreseeable future, the girls would have to eat breakfast and lunch that I cook. Yes that's right ladies and gentleman, they have to eat American style food! I know what you're thinking: "Pancakes for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch!?!?! Brittnay what on earth are you trying to do these poor girls?! Haven't they been through enough?!" And to that I say, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I woke up this morning at 4:30 so I could be at Rahab's at 5:00 to cook breakfast and make sack lunches for the girls who would be at school all day. I put on some worship music and began cooking a punishment filled with love. A few pancakes into it (which looked and smelled amazing by the way) I began to worry.

What if the girls actually like the food and this punishment backfires? What if I end up getting stuck waking up this early to make breakfast every morning? I am not a morning person. This is not going to work. Lord, please, don't let this backfire. Please let this plan not be as stupid as it is beginning to seem. PLEASE don't make me have to wake up early again tomorrow!

And to all of you who don't believe in prayer, well looky here...I was so busy freaking out I accidentally burned four pancakes that were cooking. Then the pan was too hot and the next couple of pancakes burned a little before the inside could finish cooking all the way. Now, I wasn't trying to make gross pancakes, I promise, but I was I crying when I saw this. No. No sir I was not.

All in all, the pancakes were edible. Beautiful, oh goodness no, but only a few were burned and most of them were actually pretty spectacular if I do say so myself. But when the girls came to eat them, Oh dear. You should have seen their faces. They all told me how wonderful they were, but they simply weren't very hungry this morning (coincidence? I think not).  Finally one girls had the courage to admit none of them liked the pancakes but they didn't want to hurt my feelings. They just wanted rice. When they found out that they were going to be eating pb&j for lunch, no one held back. There was so much wailing and whining about how Cambodians need rice and they don't want to eat bread two meals in a row, and if they promise to do their chores and responsibilities can they please go back to cooking their own meals...you know, the kind of meals with rice?

I played it cool. "Well, I'll talk to the house moms and Sauvry about it. We already have enough pancake mix for a couple days, It would mean a market run today.... I don't know...I'll see what they think. But you have to promise that you are going to do your chores and cooking. " Loud and enthusiastic promises were made. When I went over and told Sauvry, she smiled and said she would go to the market today to get more food. I told her not to tell them right now. To let them sweat it out a little. Make them think they're going to have to have pancakes again tomorrow. With the most conspiratorial smile I have ever seen she agreed and walked off to tell the house mom that the plan had worked. 

That's how we roll. We're pretty hard core when it comes to punishments over here. (I can't even keep a straight face writing that...)No, but all in all, I'm glad this was such  a simple and effective fix to a long standing problem. God is good!